We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
