She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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