What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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