and she was petting her beer can
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
