Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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