Pants 0. Shit 1.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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