Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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