I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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