i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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