You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
