Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
