I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
