I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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