Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
