his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The air was thick with penises
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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