i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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