You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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