Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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