i barfeds in our rink
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
