At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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