a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
