I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
