After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
