I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize