i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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