Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
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