If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
