she sounds like chewbacca in bed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
