The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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