real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
