We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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