idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Panties = found
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
