The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
