So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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