Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
vagina is talking i cant
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
