Just mADE A PArabola og urine
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Text me some of your sweat
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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