i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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