I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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