apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize