Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
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Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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