69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
