Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just google imaged poop.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
