Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
