I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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