I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
