A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
