im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
