my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
