Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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