You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
