we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
