Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
