Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
