I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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