whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
