rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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