I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
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At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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