Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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