If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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