I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
