He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
