so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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