So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
