And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize