I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
